Where Did The Time Go?

We like to bring an activity with us when we visit Fay. This weekend we dropped by on both Saturday and Sunday. Saturday was ice cream and trivia. Fay and I went back to her room (it was nasty weather) and read through the Baltimore Jewish Times. There was an article on the most popular Jewish-themed mask for Halloween (it's a Bernie Madoff mask) and a long story about Topol, who at 72 is reprising his role as Tevya in a tour of "Fiddler on the Roof" that is coming to Baltimore. The Bernie Madoff story went over Fay's head, but I think she had some recollection of "Fiddler." My mom has a thing for older Jewish men with beards.

On Sunday we brought the album of photo proofs from Margie's and my wedding.


We (at least Margie and I) had quite a time looking back 41 years. To put things in perspective, Fay is 15 years younger than I am now in this picture. I was 45 pounds lighter than I am now. Margie looks pretty much the same.

We showed my mom photos of her nieces and nephews, her brother and sisters, and some others she seemed to remember. It's hard to know what Fay understood but she said that she knew who everyone was. It was the most responsive we have seen her in several weeks. Who knows? Maybe we'll bring my bar mitzvah album next week.

Communication

It's been some time since I've made a report. Actually, there's not much to say these days. Our visits with Fay are falling into a routine of sorts. Fay is usually at an activity when we arrive. If it's Saturday, she's at the trivia and ice cream social. The volunteers seem to understand that Fay needs sugar free ice cream. Most of the time Fay is feeding herself, although when she sees us she wants us to help, even feed her. Some days she seems very drowsy. Other times she is fairly alert.

The biggest change is that Fay can no longer have a conversation. She is unable to complete a sentence, even when you try to prompt her for the words she seems to be searching for. I actually think the situation is more frustrating for us than for her. When Fay forgets what she starts to say (which is just about always) she just settles back and smiles. She can't really answer questions, except for "yes" or "no," and those responses often are random and inconsistent with the answer we are expecting.

So we bring pictures to look at or go over the photo albums she has in her cabinet. Reading the Baltimore Jewish Times is another good activity. It comes out weekly and there are sometimes funny stories. If we laugh, Fay laughs. Margie buys her new clothes - tops appropriate for the season and slacks to replace the ones that seem to vanish occasionally. Fay likes that and is happy about the presents.

I try to be thankful that Fay seems to be comfortable and not anxious. The changes we are seeing are inevitable, say the medical staff.

An Afternoon in the Sukkah

Saturday was the first day of Sukkot. Courtland Gardens (despite it's name change) still put their sukkah up on the patio. It was a lovely, sunny fall day so we got to spend some time in the sukkah. The decorations were pretty special. I think the plastic fruit industry has discovered the holiday because this sukkah was decorated with strings of fruit, including etrogim!

We tried to get Fay to remember if her father had built a sukkah when she was a little girl. First she said no; then she said yes. We guess there must have been a sukkah on Macmillan Avenue. At least one.

We think Fay must have gone to the kiddush in the sukkah after services on Saturday, but she couldn't remember. Fay's memory is pretty spotty lately. The biggest problem is that she has a hard time expressing herself, so we never really know what she's thinking or if she wants to tell us something.

But, despite all that, she remains in pretty good spirits. Wendy and Misha and Simon will be visiting us for Thanksgiving, so that will be another opportunity for Fay to connect,