It's Hot In the Mid-Atlantic

It's been a very had week here. We also have had our share of thunderstorms and other weather, some from Hurricane Bill.

Fay was looking pretty good this week. She's been having trouble expressing herself and communicating, but we heard a few complete thoughts on Saturday. Some were right out of her usual play-book. She introduced us, for the nth time, to Arthur a resident who often sits near her at activities. "This is my family," she said as she poked him to get his attention. Fay doesn't know Arthur's name. She also proclaimed to her roommate, "I'm having such a good time with them here!" Since Rebecca doesn't hear very well, there was no response. The expected and proper answer would have been to gush about how lucky Fay is to have such a wonderful family. We think some of the tension between Fay and Rebecca stems from Rebecca's lack of dramatic and outwardly expressed appreciation for Fay's family.



One of the activities on Saturday was picking which of the pictures from Wendy and Simon's visits to put on Fay's bulletin board. We think she picked two good ones.

Wendy and Simon Visit

Simon enjoys great-grandma Fay's bracelet. It used to be a charm bracelet. Now the only charm left says Wendy, 6-29-72.


Simon chats it up with great grandma while sitting on Saba's lap. Fay seems to be trying to interpret the toddler babble.


Simon's not getting away so easily from great-grandma Fay.


Smelling flowers in the courtyard.


Wendy and Simon watch great-grandma Fay take a drink in her room.



Fay's great-grandson Simon usually goes to a day care a couple days a week while his mom Wendy works from home. This week was the day care lady's vacation, so Wendy and Simon took the train from New Jersey to Baltimore to spend some time with us. Wendy and Simon were able to fit in three visits to Fay this week. The first visit was Margie, Wendy and Simon on Monday. Then on Thursday I took off in the morning and the three of us went back for a second visit. Because Wendy's train didn't leave until later in the day on Saturday, we fit in a visit on Saturday morning, too. You can see some pictures of these visits (in no particular order) above.

We were lucky that the weather was not too hot. Simon enjoyed running around the courtyard and smelling the flowers. He also got a big kick out of the bird cage, featuring very noisy and active exotic birds.

Fay really enjoyed these visits. Simon gave her kisses on her hand and liked stroking her hand and leg. At one point Simon sat on Fay;s lap. She found some unexpected strength holding him; we had to pry Simon out of her vice-like grip when it was time to put him down.

Fay seems pretty tired lately. We found her sleeping in her wheel chair at each visit. Usually she perks right up when we wake her, but sometimes she seems pretty out of it for a while. On Saturday she was at shabbat services, dressed in a skirt (but sleeping). I think she goes to services every Saturday, but she doesn't remember and says not. I'm a little worried about her right hand, which continues to get weaker. She almost never uses it now.

A Weekend in the Heartland

It was a busy week for us. I was in Omaha on business so Margie stopped by to see Fay in the middle of the week. It was the day that Fay had her hair done; Margie said she looked great. She seemed to understand a lot of the conversation, which centered on Margie's and my rendezvous in St. Louis. On Friday I flew (with some difficulty) from Omaha to St. Louis where Margie joined me. We wanted to take the opportunity to see our St. Louis family and friends.

Fay understood who we were going to visit and said how much she missed her family. As I have noted earlier in this blog, her family is everything to her.

The central part of the weekend was a 35th anniversary party for Jessica and Harold Fadem. It was a wonderful party. At the beginning of the festivities, Harold's sister Anita Wallach told the story of how the couple were introduced. It turns out that Fay ran into Anita in the grocery store. Jessica had been recently divorced and Fay asked Anita if she knew anyone who would be interested in dating a lovely woman. Anita suggested Harold, who was also divorced. The rest is history.

It's great to remember how involved Fay was in the lives of her nieces and nephews. Over the weekend we had some good laughs about Fay's golfing lessons and other shared experiences with my cousins.

On Sunday, before we left for home, Margie and I stopped by the cemetery to check on my father's grave. An irony (or coincident at least) is that Fay's sister Mary had just been buried nearby, so there was lot's of evidence of visitors to my dad's grave as well as others in Fay's family. We gave my dad an update on Fay as well as his grandchildren and great-grandchildren, of whom he would be extremely proud.

Money Plants - You Reap What You Sew

It must have been 25 years ago, or so, when Fay was living on Briarwood, in the house that she and Charlie Rosen lived in. Charlie had lots of hobbies and interests, gardening among them. There was a rhubarb patch in their yard, a grape arbor, and other interesting plantings. Fay didn't think much of the grape arbor. That was one of the first changes after they got married. The grapes attracted birds and basically created a mess that Fay wasn't interested in keeping up with.

Among the plants in their yard were "money plants." These plants are so named because the seed pods contain shiny, cellophane-like disks that look like coins. When the plants dry out, you can rub the seed pods, remove the outer material, and expose the seeds and the inner "coins." Before one of Fay's visits to us, after Charlie had died, she picked a whole bunch of money plants and harvested the seeds. She brought them with her to Maryland and surprised us by planting these seeds all over our yard. I should point out that she planted these seeds before telling us about the project.

Money plants yield their seeds every other year. On the in-between years, there are purple flowers (that frankly look like weeds). On the year that the plants produce seeds, they scatter on their own so that we find a random money plant growing around our yard even now.

Last week Margie decided to pick some plants and fix them up to decorate Fay's room. See the photos above. Fay seemed interested in the story about the plants. We had some good laughs, but I'm not sure she remembers that she is the Johnny Appleseed of money plants in Columbia, MD.

Overall status: Looked good on Saturday. Not as drowsy as the week before. Staff report that she engages them and is in a pretty good mood overall.

Alice Visits Great-Grandma

It was a mixed weekend. When Margie and I visited Fay on Saturday she was sleeping soundly in her wheel chair. We had a hard time waking her, but we took her to the garden for a chat. Fay was very tired and kept falling asleep. We finally took her back to her room, had her put in bed and went for a coffee and snack at a nearby coffee shop. When we returned about an hour later, she was still very groggy and not too coherent. We stayed and talked for a short time, and then left.

The next day when Evan, Sarah, Alice and I returned, Fay was still in bed (it was about 10:00). An aid got her dressed and we went back to the garden. Alice had brought a watering can, so that she could water plants - a favorite activity of hers.


Fay seemed to enjoy the visit from her family. Evan and Sarah held her hand and talked to her. Fay loved the attention and enjoyed seeing Alice play. Alice also got to see the birds in the bird cage and the fish in the fish tank. Courtland Gardens has everything a curious 2 1/2 year old could want. Alice commented that visiting great-grandma Fay reminder her of Evan and Sarah's neighbor Nancy, who was a 90+ year old woman. Funny how kids make these associations.



In a couple of weeks Wendy will be visiting with Fay's great grandson Simon. It will be fun for Fay to get to see Simon who is now walking around and chattering.

The Transition to Courtland Gardens Continues

The sign on the building and the sign by the road now say Courtland Gardens Nursing and Rehabilitation Center rather than Jewish Convalescent and Nursing Home. The updated name will signal the community that this facility is open to all (although the Jewish atmosphere will still be honored, so they say). As part of the Jewish atmosphere, while we were sitting in the garden with Fay this afternoon we saw about five young Jewish men, a young girl and two adult women climb over the fence to enter the facility. The boys, complete with tzitzit and payes, had no trouble scaling the fence, but their mother in her long skirt had some difficulty. We figure the dramatic entrance was to avoid going in the front door which opens automatically when you approach. So rather than activating an electrical device on Shabbat, the family jumped the wrought iron fence.

Fay had a good time with her ice cream (we got there in time to get her sugar free today) and looking at a new picture of Evan and Alice fishing in Maine. We chatted about the All Star Game which will be in St. Louis this year. Fay was a little disappointed that the game is at night now, past her bed time.

We found signs of visitors in Fay's room. A young person named Chaya Yehud left a hand made greeting card that said "glad you are feeling better." Fay was pretty alert, but tired. Her hair had been fixed and she had a fresh manicure.

Independence Day Visit

There was some discussion over the past week or two as to whether or not Fay was at the picnic where she apparently got a little sunburn. Nadine, the nurse on the floor, was certain that Fay was at the picnic, but Fay didn't think so. However, the evidence is now clear. In the July issue of the "Monthly Monitor, A Publication for the Residents and Families of Courtland Gardens," there are some photos of the June picnic. You can see Fay enjoying a snack and a drink with an unidentified resident.

Back to July 4. It was a beautiful day in Baltimore, not too hot and dry. Fay was eating ice cream when we arrived (the Saturday special) and we took her into the garden. She was alert and fairly with it. We had a good time watching the birds feed out of a tray with bird seed that is set among the flowers and bushes. There were two breeds of birds that seemed to take turns at the feeder. This strange inter-breed harmony was only interrupted when the resident chipmunk invaded their space and took his turn at the feeder. Then the birds pecked at him and chased him into his hole.

We talked about a lot of things, and Fay seemed to know what we were talking about. I mentioned Harold and Jessica's wedding anniversary, Shelly and Deanna's birthdays, Jessica's birthday, Mike Rubin's barbershop chorus (first place international competition), and a phone call I had with college friend Cary Berkowitz, whom I haven't contacted in well over 30 years. Fay seemed to know what I was talking about. You never know for sure.